the day I buried my mother (eulogy)…

No mother should bury her child.  Mothers are not meant to bury children.  It is not in the natural order of things.  Children should bury their mothers.

This day last year,  I laid her to rest.

My mother is the strongest person I have ever known, she brought us up all by herself.  She swayed and bended with life’s hardships and difficulties, pliant like a bamboo tree, hurdling everything ALONE just to feed all nine mouths.

Growing up without a father was hard;  growing up with a mother who lost a husband without proper means to support all nine lives, was worst.

I have known all my growing years the hardships in life — living with an authoritarian mother was never easy.  Most of us defied her, that some of us had to ran away home just to escape the life we had.

I was hating it, having to grow up or live with her… but she was my ONLY HOPE, even I wished I had another mother, another life — that did not make me ran away from home.  Instead, I stayed, me, Ilyn and Julius, were there, left with her because we knew she was our only hope… even we had to struggle going to school, we were with her, not only because she was our Mom, but because we knew SHE WILL NOT FAIL US.

I have seen poverty with my mother that I vowed never to bring up a family of my own, the way we were.  I made her my inspiration in life, I made all our hardship my inspiration in life.

I succeeded.  I gave back.  I tried to repay all her sacrifices but she was SELFLESS.  She said “go on with your plans, do not mind me.”

For all the sacrifices she did for us, for all the tolls and toils of life she had to conquer by herself, she deserved a better life.  But life was still hard-up on her even to her last days…

that was unfair!

I am crying and cried mostly because I haven’t given her the life she best deserved and she had to go.

My Mother may not be the perfect one on earth, but she is the BEST one I could ever have.   We may have struggled throughout our growing years, but we or I should say— I never gave up.

I saw life’s difficulties and learned how to succumb over the years with it by looking at what she went through.

I am proud I had her all those 46 years to call her “Mama”, my mother.mama

Ma, thank you for the life you gave us.

To my nieces and nephews, I hope you will not defy your parents — they may not be the perfect ones you have but they are your best bet in life.  Just because you have to struggle in life with them doesn’t mean you have to stop there… move on, better yourselves and your lives.

To Ilyn, let go.  It’s hard, but she is going to a better place.  Do not fret.  Do not cry, let her go with a smile.

Eulogy.  August 02, 2017

G.

Did you really leave me again?
After all the seasons I spent waiting,
watching out the window,
listening at the door,
waiting for the news of your return.
For the news that you realized
that someone important was waiting for you?
A whole lifetime I’ve been waiting.
I can’t believe you’re not coming back
I can’t believe I’m supposed to stop waiting
I can’t believe you left me again.

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